Duct tape works wonders

Here I go again getting behind in my writing. I will start from where I left off. I had my appointment with the oncologist about a week ago. I wanted to see if I could get answers to my long term side effects from the cancer treatment I received as a child.  I wasn't very impressed. The doctor had never seen a neuroblastoma survivor before and didn't really know how to answer my questions.  He was like a kid in a candy store, practically jumping up and down to get his hands on my medical records.  He did not offer any new information.  Though he did seem fairly confident that since I'm 25 years cancer free than I'm pretty much out of the range of developing the more common secondary cancers. I'm just waiting to get my blood results back to make sure everything is A-ok.

I also had to have an endoscope done a couple of days ago.  The doctor determined I have barrettes syndrome which is a precancerous condition.  I guess basically the stomach acid has eroded my esophagus which can lead to cancer.  I had a biopsy done and should get the results back in another week or two to see how bad it is.  GI problems are just another one of the lovely side effects of chemo and radiation treatments.

So my biggest issue with doctors is feeling like a lab rat or a freak to be studied. I cant even tell you how many times I've gone to see a doctor who is just amazed by me.  I'm not being conceited either, or exaggerating.  What I've been through is nothing they've ever seen.  I HATE that, because they cannot offer me a solution.  For example, Dr. Lenke is the best spinal surgeon in the US.  People come from all over the world to have him work his magic.  I've had several surgeries by him, yet he still hasn't been able to do what he does to others.  He cannot fix me.  My last surgery he found out I was missing my dura in my spinal canal... he had never seen anything like it.  Come to find out, the absent dura is a result from the cancer I had.  So there you go, my cancer causing problems still today.  I'm not bitter though.  You can't fix everything, sometimes you just have to put some duct tape on, say a prayer, and hope it holds up.

I am thankful though that I've found a group on facebook, survivors like me from neuroblastoma, who are somewhat similar.  Knowing that there are other people out there that have a slight understanding what you have gone through makes you feel less lonely.  I haven't met anyone with back problems as severe as me, but it seems everyone has their issues.  To hear others' stories, some have had it very rough.  I'm grateful to be me, Picasso body and all.

On a side note:  Do you think if you will yourself, and believe with all your might that you are perfectly fine.. do you think you can overcome any physical ailment?  Mind over matter and all that...