You can do it.

One of my pet peeves.. Hearing someone say they can't do something.  I just want to shake them and say "get a clue, you can do whatever you put your mind too."  Cliche I know, but the honest truth.

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."  My favorite mantra in the morning.  Willing myself to get out of bed is a daily struggle. The sounds of "momma, momma" or my favorite "get up lazy bones" is the final push I need to roll out of bed.  If you know my story you would say "oh Amber's back must be hurting really bad today," but guess what you'd be wrong.  Or well not wrong cause yea it does hurt, but that's not the reason I struggle to get out of bed.  You want to know a secret?

 I'm tired.  Ha, you say who isn't, that isn't much of a secret.  Oh how I wish it was just normal: the kids have been up all night, I spent all night drinking, or whatever else the silly reason is..  But for me, not only do my muscles work extra hard to hold this gorgeous body upright, but my lungs only function at 30%   Imagine you are taking a deep breathe, breathing in and out.. but  now you can only breathe a third of that air in.  Taking shallow breaths, in out in out... Getting light headed yet.  Two perfectly healthy set of lungs, but no room to expand.  My lovely twisted spine squishing them.

But this is my life, and I haven't dropped yet, so something must be working. You'd be amazed by how well the body learns to adapt.  You know I once had a cardiologist tell my parents when I was a teen, that I wouldn't live more than 5 years.  Once the lungs stiffen up, the heart has to work overtime, an overworked heart means a very tired heart.  A tired heart means a dead me.  Here I am though.

Now I'm not really shocked that another doctor was wrong.. I've lost count on how many didn't really know what they were talking about.  I figure there is got to be a reason why I'm still around.  I don't know what that is, but I'm just thankful.  A couple of years back, I wrote a "bucket list."  I know bucket lists seem to be a viral sensation these days.. but back then I just wrote it for myself, a reminder of all the things I would like to do and can do.  I've been lucky enough to cross so many off my list.  I've danced, kissed in the rain, I've stayed up all night to see a sunrise, I've gotten married, I've had not one baby but two.  I wake up every morning, and breathe. 

I may have only 30% of my lungs but I can still chase a 3 and 1 year old.  I may not be the fastest, I maybe huffing and puffing at the end, but I promise you this, my girls will be laughing and having fun.  I will do whatever I have to, and you should too.  I don't want to hear I can't.  If you must whine and complain, tell it to someone else, because hunny I don't care.  You will get no sympathy from me. Like I tell my 3 year old daughter, "suck it up buttercup, you can do anything."