I hate needles... always have, always will. It probably stems from when I was little and had to be poked a zillion times because of the cancer.. My veins are shot all to heck, so the techs, or vampires I like to call them, never get it in the first try.
I had a scar revision surgery on my back yesterday. I told myself this is the last surgery, I hate the feeling of waking up from anesthesia. You get the shakes real bad, and the naushea is just horrible. I hate the feeling more than the surgery/recovery itself. Give me pain anyday. But anywho, I digress, I had the surgery done not for vain reasons but because of the loose skin i had around the scar. It was hanging there from the way my back is shaped, and i would get sores underneath.. Not attractive i know, lol. My doctor already did one before, but he didn't get enough skin, so I had to go back under the knife. It wouldn't have been too bad if my IV's hadn't kept blowing out. My arms look like a heroin addicts. I've got so many sticks, and bruising up and down my arms.
Thankfully though, my surgery went well. Im always a bit paranoid now when I go into surgery. When I was 21 I reasoned with God that he couldn't let me die yet because I hadn't accomplished anything, like have a family, husband, kids, a home, etc... I wasn't ready. So everytime I went into surgery I would feel confident in the knowledge that God wouldn't let me down and let me suffer in life for nothing. Now that I have a family, and everything I've ever wanted I feel God could take me anytime. Does that make sense? I fear that it's the little surgery that will do me in. So I get very anxious. But I will save this topic for another time.. and just end here with saying I am very thankful everything went okay, and pray this is my last surgery. I'm tired of being a human pincushion.
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